You can do it, yes you can!

I will preface this post with some raw honesty. I have never, never ever, believed in myself.

Never.

I have never been one of those people who say "If I say I'm going to do it, I will",  I've never even understood those people. Or "If I want it I will have it / him / that"... frankly I find people with that level of  self belief intimidating. Impressive and intimidating and certainly not me.

More to the point I would have seriously doubted I was good enough for any thing worth being that determined about, which is crazy really, if I think about it dispassionately; I am above average intelligence, above average passion and commitment,  above average effort, my life is reasonably comfortable and privileged, I am honest and loyal and kind but be it a background of being taught to be humble and not prideful, or if it's pride itself that blocks me - I am not a major self promoter, and I struggle to believe in me.

And it is amazing how this plays out and how you can turn it around. Because I am turning it around. Maybe slowly, but I am.

Here's where it starts.

Over the last two years I have done a lot of soul searching, growing, acheiving and mostly losing weight. A lot of weight. And I can tell you how I've done it - and I have done it all by myself, so I should be proud. I can also tell you how I gained the weight, but thats less of a conversation for here and more of one over a cup of coffee. Or vodka.

I'll tell you one thing I have learnt about weight loss, every single dietition, doctor, personal trainer etc will ttell you its 80% food and 20% exercise, and they are dead right, but it's also 100% head. 100% determination and will. You have to be in the right frame of mind - I say it has to "click" - or none of it works. So that's 80% food, 20% exercise and 100% head. Remember this.

Back to the point, I have also improved my fitness out of sight, walking every day and now running. And here's where the head stuff starts.

I still have some goals to hit and walking every day, even increasing the distance and intensity are not getting me there. I would also like to be one of those people who "runs", or at least can "run".

A couple of months ago I heard about #C25K, google it, it's an exceptional program in my mind. Such a simple philosophy and it works.

So anyway, I heard about it, had friends doing it, thought I maybe, could, ought to (see that lack of self belief coming in) be able to do it if they can. I mean I've been walking 3-9 k's every day for 2 years, surely I'm ahead of the pack? So I downloaded the app for my iphone (free app - no excuses!) and I started it and failed miserably. 

The idea is it's built in stages designed to increase your capacity and literally get you from the "Couch"  to running 5 kilometres in 9 weeks (C 2 5K). Week one is a 5 minute warm up followed by intervals of running and walking, and a cool down. So, initially it's 60 second run, 60 second walk; 60 second run, 60 second walk, rinse and repeat as they say.

I could not get past 45 seconds before I am completely breathless. I came up with all manner of excuses as to why I couldnt do it - my shoes weren't great (bought new shoes, they weren't much better), I saw a physio & he checked my feet & knees (issue wasn't the shoes); he explained I am not breathing properly so now I have something to focus on - I get back out there and I still can't do it. I'm still not getting past 45 seconds, and I'm only doing this twice before I give up and walk the rest of the route.

But it's all in my head because I can do it.

I met a wonderful personal trainer, she actually has a running group who are following the C25K program - she's perfect! And she convinces me to give it another go.

Our very first outing I do the program. Thats it. Done. Week one day one accomplished. I am still keeling over at the 45 second mark but I don't give up. And I do the full set of runs, I complete the damn lot. And I'm up to 90 seconds now.

So, was it pride again - not wanting to fail in front of someone - was it the encouragement? I don't know what it was and I don't really care, the point is I could have done it myself but my head wasn't right.

It takes getting your head right. Every damn thing takes getting your head right. And if you're head is right you can do every damn thing! You can!

And now I'm charging through the program, I'm not yet running 5 k's but I will, you can bet on it.

You know what else, the days I step out of my comfort zone - nothing to do with exercise, just days I make myself do something scary, or something I have been dreading - those are the days I lose weight, lose weight and gain me. And it's a brilliant spiral! So go on, give it a shot - you can do it.